While You Were Paying More Attention To The Personal Flotation Device Instructions

• Jackass turned dumbass Johnny Knoxville was caught at airport security with a grenade. He may manage to avoid criminal charges since the grenade turned out to be a bigger dud than his acting career.
• NBC has already renewed The Office and 30 Rock for another season each. As far as I’m concerned, everything else on the network can be cancelled.
• DeShawn of The Real Housewives of Atlanta claims she has been dropped from the show for being too nice, but I suspect the real problem is that she was tardy to one too many parties.
• Lily Allen showed a reporter her third nipple, proving that there are exceptions to the “sex sells” rule.
• Jennifer Aniston’s midlife crisis, John Mayer, is wrapping up negotiations with CBS to star in a musical variety show, a format that recently proved successful when Rosie O’Donnell’s similar attempt wasn’t cancelled until midway through the live broadcast.